Children’s Therapy

Seeing changes in your child’s behavior…

Liam* was a sweet, gentle third grader, who was described as “smart” and “sensitive.”

He was one of the last children to be picked for activities on the school playground, and he was often teased by the other, stronger, more athletic boys.

He was an academic standout, but his interest in “all things school” started to wane. He was beginning to withdraw. He was sullen after school, had occasional jags of crying, and his stomach ached in the morning before school.

There were constant excuses for incomplete homework and avoiding the playground during recess.

His parents grew concerned, and his teachers noticed the changes.

*Names and details have been changed to protect client confidentiality.

Protecting our children can be a tall order.

We try our best to shield our children from pain, conflict, and stress.

Sometimes, this is a tall order. There may be parental conflict, bullying, grief, loss, learning and attention issues, anxiety, and community disasters that affect our children.

If you think about it, there is very little that children control in their worlds. Life can be unpredictable for them, and they are vulnerable with little voices.

What is your child’s behavior telling you…?

Children express their inner worlds verbally, symbolically, and behaviorally.

When parents are in the throes of concern and worry, it can be challenging to tune into what their child is communicating and to pinpoint exactly how to help them.

Children may be sending us a message that their needs are not being met – or that they are scared, angry, hurt, bored, tired, sick, or hungry. Parents can learn how to interpret their child’s behavior and respond in a supportive manner that can create a win-win situation.

Let’s say night after night your child has meltdowns at homework time. They simply cannot start. They begin by wasting time, dilly dallying, and avoiding. Then they progress to a meltdown, crying, and kicking, throwing the papers to the floor.

As you grow more frustrated and it is nearing bedtime, your ability to be supportive is waning. You begin to cajole, bribe, strike deals, and, getting nowhere, you exclaim they are punished by having no after school play date the next day. This only escalates the upset. Familiar?

Children use challenging behavior because it works.

They avoided the homework, though they lost the play date. As the parent, we may rely on punishment or engaging in a power struggle when we ourselves are struggling to understand the message behind the behavior.

I can help you and your child decipher the “whys” of the behavior and find new positive ways of responding. I can assure you that is far better than getting stuck in the punishing and consequences rut.

Some children will come into my office and symbolically represent their inner world through play with toys or animals. They will give names and human attributes to these players who are in conflict or have a dilemma to solve.

The child will lead the way, and often direct the play, trying to assert some control over the parts of their internal experience that feels out of control.

Is it time for professional help?

Tantrums, aggression, withdrawal…

That sweet bundle you eagerly anticipated… where have they gone?

Is this a phase… or should you hit the panic button? Are these garden variety outbursts, or are Grandma’s genetics making an appearance?

To determine whether it is time for professional intervention, it can be helpful for parents to consider these factors.

Keep a diary of behaviors with descriptions of scenarios, context, environment, and times of day.

Is your child having difficulty outside of the home, at school, extracurricular activities, or in other settings?

Are you receiving feedback that there are patterns of challenging behavior? This will help you determine if these are isolated events or a pattern.

What is your gut telling you?

Are your other children being negatively affected by their sibling’s challenging behavior?

Are you finding you are losing control when responding to your child?

Our own worries can keep us stuck.

Some parents are worried that they have acted “too late,” or they are mired down by the question of “how they got this way” and may feel guilt and shame over something they did or did not do. While others are concerned about their child being labeled or diagnosed.

Many parents will read scads of well-intentioned books on how to help their child but are unable to apply these insights in practice without guidance.

You need help to understand how to best support your child

Luckily, you are here taking the first step… and I know how to help!

I have been working with children (not kids, those are baby goats) since 1996.

I have advanced training in play therapy… and loads of experience consulting with schools, educational testing, pediatricians, and other important providers (should a pit crew be needed).

I have had ukuleles, dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs, and numerous toy friends in my office to help children feel safe, process their experiences, learn new skills, and let go of the junk they have been burying inside.

Children and parents need tools.

Remember Liam?

Liam’s parents needed to understand what was happening to their son developmentally, emotionally, academically, and physically. They needed to cross that bridge into Liam’s world.

They also needed to consider where Liam was educationally… and understand what options were available for him.

Liam needed a safe, empathic adult to help him explore his feelings… verbally, through drawing, by molding clay, or over a game… by doing what was needed depending on where Liam was that particular day.

Let’s partner to help your child today.

Eventually, Liam learned tools to better handle social interactions at school. He learned to have a growth mindset and how to think differently about these situations.

He learned that his body was talking to him… and how to answer its message.

Most importantly, he understood that there were lots of adults around him who care about him. With coaching from me, his parents were able to navigate the school system and get the academic and social support Liam needed.

Having a positive helping experience at a young age helps to ensure that children will seek help at later stages when life becomes challenging.

Give me a call today for your free consultation, and let’s get started on helping your child today: (571) 289-9181